Thursday, April 26, 2018

Gender Critical

I'm going to use "male" and "female" to denote "biological reality" - and never gender. I"ll use "masculine" and "feminine" to denote gender roles / attributes.

Males may well be somewhat predisposed to "masculine" attitudes or behaviors /on average/.

Females may well be somewhat predisposed to "feminine" attitudes or behaviors /on average/.

Maybe...

Hard to know since we're all raised in gender-role reinforced societies. The process of socialization into gender roles starts before birth - with parents wanting to know the sex, and then painting the room blue or pink, and buying cuddly things or more "manly" things, etc. Girls get frills, boys get simpler / plainer attire, etc.

In psych 200 or maybe it was developmental psych - one of the things that came up is that studies show that strangers who come upon a newborn - the very first thing they want to establish is "what is its sex" (most folks would use the term "gender" here - but I refuse to - sex is biology, gender is socialization).

But the point is - it is the FIRST and FOREMOST thing that nearly everyone - regardless of culture - wants to know about an infant (once children are older, sex is more obvious, so the need to ask or whatever is obviated by their ability to discern from external social cues - i.e. the child is almost certainly displaying gender-role appropriate garb to resolve that without asking).

The funny thing is - why?

Why in the 9-hells do we "need" to know the sex before we feel comfortable to interact with this newborn? (I think with some reflection you'll be able to answer that, gentle reader).

So, no, I don't believe that gender-roles are native to sex - but rather are native to culture - which has a complex relationship to biology and history - so there is *some* modicum of aggregate bias towards or predispositions towards certain gender-role-behavior-groupings. However - that relationship is - at most - mild predispositions and buried under mountains of social / cultural bullshit - which then becomes a straight-jacket for conformity.

And we all learn early that to buck those social normatives brings quick and egregious backlash from pretty much everyone - including our parents and other adults and children ("sissy" - "wimpy" - "pussy" for males, and "pushy" - "willful" - "aggressive" - "un-lady-like" for females).

So, for most of us, we learn to stifle those parts of ourselves that do not conform to other's beliefs about what our sex is allowed to be or behave as.

And THAT is gender - and THAT is too restrictive and arbitrary and leads to cruelty towards one

Knowing that a man has a penis, a woman a vagina, full stop; is simply reality and irrefutable*.

And the great thing about separating gender and sex is...

You can be yourself - in whatever array of beautiful being that is - without fear of being ostracized and humiliated - because we're no longer requiring you or anyone to only behave in socially-confirmative ways - but rather we're open to you being ... well, you, in all of your complexity and glory. <3 p="">
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* of course someone will quibble over intersex folks. But intersex folks are - drum roll.... intersex. Not really male, nor really female - but their own situation, and again - that's not my opinion, that's reality's "opinion". Take it up with mother nature.

PEGGY ORENSTEIN - the Battle over Dress Codes - from the New York Times.  A very balanced look at parenting and feminism in light of this issue.